Are You a Hyper-Achiever Too? Know the Signs and How to Keep It in Check

Following on from my blog last week about the need to properly switch off and enjoy our holidays, I wanted to introduce you to the concept of the ‘hyper achiever’ as this may well be another reason why some of us find it hard to switch off properly.

In today's fast-paced professional world, ambition is often celebrated as a key driver of success. However, the relentless pursuit of goals can sometimes lead to an unhealthy need for self-validation and an identity overly defined by work.

 I’d like to introduce you to Helena, my Hyper Achiever. She’s driven, ambitious but at times, totally Hellish, driving me to think I need to constantly strive for more. It’s quite frankly exhausting.

 Shirzad Chamine, in his groundbreaking work on Positive Intelligence, identifies various saboteurs that undermine our happiness and performance. One of the most prevalent among high achievers is the "Hyper-Achiever." This saboteur makes us believe that our self-worth is contingent on our achievements, pushing us to constantly seek external validation and success.

•  The Hyper-Achiever is driven by the need to prove themselves through accomplishments. While this can lead to impressive achievements, it also comes with significant downsides:

• Never Feeling Enough: No matter how much you achieve, it never feels like it's enough.

• Identity Overload: Your sense of self becomes overly tied to your professional success.

• Neglecting Personal Fulfilment: Personal satisfaction and non-work-related joys may take a back seat.

I’ll admit it now. I am a hyper-achiever. I've spent much of my life saying, "I'll be happy when...I get the promotion, I have the house, I earn £x." The reality is that this happiness is fleeting. When you hit a milestone, you might have an evening of feeling accomplished and happy, but then you quickly move on to the next goal. This creates a cycle where you're never truly satisfied.

 My breakthrough came when I realised this pattern and vowed to enjoy the journey and the moment. I still believe that my hyper-achiever mindset has brought me success; it's my drive and ambition that are real strengths. However, I've overused it at times, resulting in a feeling of 'never enough' or 'never good enough' and 'always something more.'

 What a miraculous change it was when I started to define my success as more than just work and allowed the journey to unfold without constantly striving for the next thing. Positive psychology research backs up this theory, showing that happiness is found in the journey, not just the outcome.

 Is any of this ringing true for you? Are you too a hyper-achiever?

 To achieve a balanced life where ambition and well-being coexist, it’s crucial to recognise the signs that your Hyper-Achiever is taking over:

• Constantly Seeking Validation: Needing frequent praise or recognition to feel good about yourself.

• Difficulty Disconnecting: Struggling to step away from work, even during personal time.

• Ignoring Personal Needs: Neglecting hobbies, relationships, and self-care in favour of work tasks.

“I recognise some of these traits Jo, how do I quieten my over-achiever?”

Here are some strategies to keep your Hyper-Achiever in check while maintaining your drive for success:

1. Set Internal Benchmarks

Define personal success by your values and passions, not just external achievements

Celebrate personal growth and learning as much as professional milestones.

2. Practice Self-Validation

Recognise and appreciate your efforts without needing external approval

Keep a journal of your daily accomplishments and moments of gratitude.

3. Cultivate a Well-Rounded Identity

Invest time in hobbies, relationships, and activities outside of work.

Remember that your worth is multifaceted and not solely defined by professional success. 

4. Build a Support System

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who value you for who you are, not just what you achieve.

Engage in activities that nourish your soul and provide joy beyond work.

5. Practice switching from a negative to a positive mindset

This requires the retraining of the brain and new neural pathways to form. It takes practice but is absolutely achievable. I run a whole programme on mental fitness to help you do this

 Balancing ambition and well-being is not about curbing your drive but about sustaining it in a healthy way. By recognising the signs of an overactive Hyper-Achiever, redefining your sense of self-worth, and implementing strategies to nourish your well-being, you can achieve lasting success without sacrificing your personal fulfilment.

Remember, true success is measured not just by your achievements but by the quality of your life and relationships.